Building strong relationships with others

Building strong relationships with others in church amongst christian women involves several key principles. In this month's blog, we will reflect on these principles, citing Bible verses to encourage us.

COMMUNICATION

Open and honest communication is essential. Share your thoughts and feelings, and encourage others to do the same. Listen actively and show genuine interest in what they say. James 1:19 reinforces this, urging us to be "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger."  Open, honest, and respectful dialogue is essential for understanding one another's needs, desires, and perspectives.  In Proverbs 15:23, we learn, "A man finds joy in giving an apt reply – and how good is a timely word!" This verse highlights the power of carefully chosen words, delivered with thoughtfulness and consideration, which also includes timing. This aspect of timing is also echoed in Ecclesiastes 3:7, where the Bible reminds us of ´´...a time to be silent and a time to speak. ´´ By prioritising listening and thoughtful communication, we create a safe space for vulnerability and foster a deeper connection. 

2. TRUST

Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship. It's the confident belief in the integrity and goodness of another. Even in our relationship with God, in Proverbs 3:5-6, we are advised to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." This verse highlights the fundamental principle of trusting in God's wisdom and guidance, which forms the basis for all other trusting relationships. Just as we place our faith in God's unwavering love, we should strive to cultivate trustworthiness in our relationships with others. 

Proverbs 11:3 states, "The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithfulness of the treacherous destroys them." Integrity, honesty, and consistency in our words and actions are crucial for building trust with others. Micah 6:8 reminds us, "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." When we act justly and mercifully, we create an environment where trust can flourish.

A broken trust can be incredibly difficult to repair, leaving wounds that take time and effort to heal. This is visible throughout the Bible as in the cases of Cain and Abel, Joseph and his brothers, and David and Uriah, to mention but a few.

3. EMPATHY

Try to understand things from the other person's perspective. Show compassion and validate their feelings. This helps to create a deeper emotional connection. In John 8:1-11, Jesus encounters a woman caught in adultery. According to the laws of the Pharisees, she should be stoned. Instead, Jesus challenges them, saying, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." One by one, they drop their stones and leave. Jesus then asks the woman, "Has no one condemned you?" She replies, "No one, sir." Jesus says, "Then neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin." This act of empathy offers the woman a chance to change her life rather than be condemned because of her choices. When we choose to show empathy, we offer each other much-needed support in overcoming life's challenges and redeeming ourselves. Other notable examples in the Bible include the story of Ruth and Naomi, Paul and the various churches, and Jesus and the crowds.

4. RESPECT

Show respect for the other person's opinions, boundaries, and individuality. Valuing their perspective fosters mutual respect. In Exodus 18, we see Moses showing respect to his father-in-law, Jethro, by listening to his advice on organizing the people of Israel. Jethro, a Midianite priest, offered practical wisdom, and Moses, despite his leadership role, humbly accepted it. This illustrates respect for wisdom regardless of its source. In 1 Samuel 24 & 26, even when Saul was unjustly pursuing David to kill him, David consistently showed respect for Saul's position as king. He refused to take vengeance into his own hands, acknowledging Saul's anointed status, even when he had opportunities to do otherwise. Ruth, a Moabite woman, showed respect to Boaz, a wealthy landowner, by following his instructions and acknowledging his kindness. Boaz, in turn, treated Ruth with respect, recognizing her virtuous character and offering her protection (Ruth 2 & 3). This highlights mutual respect between people of different social standings.

5. QUALITY TIME

Spend time together to strengthen your bond. Engage in activities you both enjoy and create shared experiences. Hebrews 10:25 encourages us to ´´Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another even so the more as you see the Day approaching.´´

Jesus spent significant time with his disciples, teaching them, travelling with them, sharing meals, and praying with them. This shared time was crucial for their development as disciples, allowing them to learn from him, witness his miracles, and build a strong bond with him and each other.  The Gospels are filled with examples of this shared time.

6. SUPPORT

Be supportive during tough times. Offer help, encouragement, and understanding when challenges arise. Proverbs 17:17 reminds us that “A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity”. This is well depicted in the story of Naomi and Ruth. Ruth's decision to stay with Naomi and care for her in her old age is an example of how unwavering loyalty and support can provide much-needed companionship and practical help (Ruth 1-4).

During the battle against the Amalekites (Exodus 17:8-13), when Moses raised his hands, the Israelites prevailed, but when he lowered them, they were defeated.  Aaron and Hur, seeing Moses' weariness, supported his arms, keeping them raised until the victory was won. This is a powerful image of practical, physical support enabling success.

7. CONFLICT RESOLUTION

We are encouraged to address conflicts calmly and constructively. Avoiding or ignoring issues can damage relationships. Instead, discuss disagreements openly and work towards a resolution. Mathew 18:15 teaches us “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” This is how we ought to approach conflicts instead of telling each other´s faults to outsiders. Colossians 3:13 reminds us to “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you”. We are also encouraged to resolve conflicts as soon as they happen to avoid them escalating to unrepairable levels. Mathew 5: 25-26 says,´´Settle matters quickly with your adversary…´´

The Lord prioritizes mending relationships before our offerings to Him, as we read in Matthew 5:23-24 ´´ Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift. ´´

8 APPRECIATION

Regularly express gratitude and appreciation to the other person. Acknowledge the efforts and the positive impacts others have on your life.

In Paul's letters to Timothy, we see instances that are filled with both instruction and appreciation. Paul acknowledges Timothy's faithfulness, his dedication to ministry, and his genuine love for God. He expresses his appreciation for Timothy's willingness to learn and to serve. This appreciation strengthens their relationship and motivates Timothy in his ministry (1 Timothy 1:2, 2 Timothy 1:3-5).

9. VULNERABILITY

Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Sharing your fears, dreams, and insecurities can deepen intimacy and trust, as we read in the story of Elizabeth and Mary. Mary, perhaps feeling overwhelmed and fearful, seeks out Elizabeth, someone who can understand the extraordinary circumstances surrounding their pregnancies.

Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit, affirms Mary's blessedness and acknowledges the significance of her unborn child (Luke 1:42-45). This mutual recognition and acceptance of their vulnerable states fosters a powerful bond between them. Elizabeth's presence provides Mary with a safe space to express her emotions and process the enormity of her situation.

Elizabeth's blessing and affirmation provided Mary with much-needed encouragement and strength. Vulnerability, when shared between individuals who understand each other's experiences, can lead to profound support, empathy, and spiritual growth. Mary and Elizabeth's relationship demonstrates the power of vulnerability in building strong and meaningful connections, particularly in times of uncertainty and transition.

10. FLEXIBILITY

Be willing to adapt and compromise. Relationships require give and take, and being flexible can strengthen your connection. Our best example of this is the relationship between us and God. In His mercy, God is always willing to forgive us, restore us, and change the course of wrath that we are otherwise condemned to by our sinful nature!

Here are some key aspects of a good relationship as depicted in the Bible

·    David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18-20)

·       Ruth and Naomi (Book of Ruth)

·    Paul, Priscilla, and Aquila.

 By consistently applying these principles, you can build and maintain strong, healthy relationships with others. Overall, Biblical friendships are rooted in love, mutual respect, and commitment to support one another spiritually and emotionally. They reflect the love of Christ and encourage growth in faith and character.